Ask: is he setting aside enough time for me? Does he make an effort to involve me in his life on a regular basis? Is he confiding in me? Does he enjoy doing simple things together and not just coming over at 10 pm?. NEVER assume exclusivity without talking about it and never prematurely focus on one person or obligate yourself to someone who hasn't earned it. Realize you can't jump the gun and rush into a relationship. Continue to build your own lifestyle and and don't let him feel that he can take as much time as he wants making an effort toward you because you're just waiting for him. You can't let him feel like he's living his life while you're just sitting around waiting to hear from him. You can express a desire to spend time with him, but don't drop everything to be with him! You cannot make him a top priority too soon or put all your plans on hold for him. He needs to know that you aren't desperate for a man, and you're happy with your life already (you don't need a man in order to feel content and validated with yourself because you already are). He has to feel that life with you is better than life without you, and the more he puts into it, the more benefits he'll reap. He has to come to the conclusion on his own. Know that a high value woman doesn't have to make a case for her own desirability. BUT, you can't do this merely by convincing him - he has to come to the decision on his own, via learning by your actions. Even though you can't change someone's personality or character, you can change his emotional associations and his perceptions of how his wants/needs can be met within a relationship. Having a wife/girlfriend allows him to have great sex on a regular basis, having someone who will support and understand him, and be his companion on great adventures and experiences. However - other men are able to understand that having a committed relationship does not mean the death of great sex/adventure - instead, it enhances this. They often have this fantasy life of being single, then end up realizing it's not as great as they thought. 
It's the perceived freedom that he's giving up.
Men typically don't settle down because they convince themselves that they're not ready, they haven't fully experienced life yet, and having a girlfriend/wife is going to change everything. Allow yourself to be open to finding the next person, and learn/grow from the experience Realize that he didn't live up to your values and standards, he was not your soulmate, he was not ultimately right for you. If it ends- Don't look at it as if it's the end of the world. Make sure EARLY ON that your priorities align and you share the same values. Never ignore red flags or assume someone will change. Don't get wrapped up in romance just because you want to be in a relationship. 
You need to be sure that you are getting what you need from him, and he needs to be sure that what he's getting from you couldn't come from anyone else. Let him earn your commitment by investing in you - supporting you, making an effort, treating you well. 
A guy must be evaluated by his qualities re: what he does for you - don't look at any other aspects of his life and confuse them for relationship material if he hasn't shown this toward you or done anything special regarding you. You can't just fake an exciting/fun/busy lifestyle, you actually have to live it. Let dating be a natural part of your lifestyle, and not this separate, intimidating thing. Visual chemistry + perceived challenge + perceived value + connection = long lasting attraction. I don't necessarily agree with all of his content but I'm including the stuff I found interesting or relevant and not too "pick me". Someone on here recently mentioned Matthew Hussey I read his book a few years ago and just found the notes I took.
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